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Jimmy Brooks (JBizzle in the Hizzouse)'s Journal

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10th December 2005

2:45pm: Its sad, but I think this community has finally just fallen through the cracks *sniff*

But its been almost a month since I've even updated, and it goes pretty much the same for everyone.

If you guys want to keep in touch my RL journal is lokojo7!

Feel free to add me, loves!

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11th November 2005

11:21pm: So I lied, I'm not going to elaborate on my date with Emma. She can tell the story better than I, I'm sure. Since most of it involved just her doing things as I sat waiiiiiitng. It was a great night though.

Craig and I are talkin right now about how everyone seems to have disappeared. We've come o the conclusion that everyone other than he and I were abducted by aliens. And we're left to rot in bordem. You all are having alien cake and alien ice cream and a big fancy alien party, and we're rotting in bordem. Gee thanks, guys :-P.

Well I'm bout to bizounce. HOLLA!

((my computer will be getting fixed so I have to send it in to dell. so don't expect me on much in the next weekish goes for JT too, obviously))

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6th November 2005

9:59am: So if y'all don't know, Jimmy Brooks is the man at planning romantic dates... lol ask Em, she'll tell ya ;)

Crappy update, I know, but I'm gonna go shoot some hoops. Maybe a better one later!

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23rd October 2005

11:04pm: Emma cooked for me. IT WAS OFF THE HEAZY FO SHEAZY FO REAZY. Damn that girl can cook. She even had the whole ambiance set up. It was hot. i'm falling for that girl and falling hard. i'm so scared to get hurt again or to hurt her i'm trying to stop myself. it took all the power i had just to keep myself from muttering i love you at dinner the other day. I'm too gangsta to fall in love again

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13th October 2005

10:40am: So Craig and I talked last night for the first time in AGGGGGES! I missed my Emo boy!

We've decided. For halloween this year I'm gonna be Emo and he's gonna be Gangsta. Thats hot, right? LOL

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8th October 2005

9:52am: Emma and I went to a haunted house and then on a hay ride together. It was fun. Although, we learned something very important. Making out in public is hazardous to your health - or at least a bit dangerous.

And she and I are officially a couple now. Took us long enough?

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7th October 2005

10:43pm: I AM A LOSER WHO FORGOT TO UPDATE! Sorry guys! And I have nothing interesting to say because I've been so bogged down with homework and all that jazz. Um... For whatever reason ((like AIM SUCKING and wasn't letting me im her)) Haze and I have delayed our trip again. But soon. Hazel, let me know when you're ready.

Umm yeah so I'm just going to end with a game. Go to google. Type "(your name) needs" and hit search. Then post the top ten-ish results.

Here's mine:

Jimmy needs your support
Jimmy needs your help
Jimmy needs to fix what has been changed in the past
Jimmy needs to purchase 60 mattresses
Jimmy needs some schooling
Jimmy needs to take a break
Jimmy needs to sit back
Jimmy needs to do what he's really good at
Jimmy needs to feel confident
Jimmy needs someone he can rescue

UHH now lets play another game. Everyone leave a comment for a potential reason that I, Jimmy brooks, needs to purchase 60 matresses! LMAO.

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16th September 2005

8:14am: So I have been up to... school. And thats about it. Homework too. I went out to eat at the dot with Paige the other night, which was fun. I don't get to hang out with her enough. We just talked about a lot of stuff. About Liz disappearing on me. About my feelings for Emma. About the upcoming road trip with Haze. About her and Matt growing apart... About her concern something is wrong with Haze, mostly she thinks its that she misses me. Which was good to just have someone to talk to like that.

Haze and I are gonna be taking a week off of school next week. We're gonna do a college tour from here to windsor stopping at different colleges on the way down there. It should be fun. And we'll be able to get the feel of many different colleges, get our options open. I still hope she and I go to the same college. I'd hate being too far away from her

Paige said she plans on going to the place Dylan goes, so she'll be around here. And I told her, and I mean it, I am gonna do my damndest to have us keep in touch. After all we have been through way to much to see our friendships fall a part. Way too much.

Hey, Miss Nelson, can you come help me with my homework tonight? ;)

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10th September 2005

4:53pm: Still haven't seen Liz. Tell you the truth, I kinda stopped the calling her thing, because it hadn't gotten me anywhere. I hope she's okay but I'm kind of ticked off.

Sorry I haven't done much with anyone, outside of classes. I've just had a lot on my mind. I've just had HER on my mind. Not Liz either. Emma. I really like that girl and I just don't know how to deal with my feelings right now. I have Liz, and I don't want to hurt Liz, but Liz disappeared. And Emma... man she's amazing I can't stop thinking about her lately. Not since the night we made out at my house.

But we should change that. I really want to hang out with the following people: Paige, Hazel, Marco, Ash, Craig, Emma, and of course, Liz. Now if your name is not on that list its cool too, just call me and we can hang out! If your name IS on that list you have no excuse so pick up your phone and call me ;)

Haze, when do you want to go on a college tour with me? I've got brochures for a bunch of places from here to windsor, we can take like a week off and make it a road trip? :) I can't wait for that, to spend time with Haze, but if I'm not with Liz anymore, I won't make a committment to Emma before we go. Just.. I dunno if I trust myself in hotel rooms with Haze when we're far a way from everyone else. Something is likely to happen in the heat of the moment that will hurt someone else...

Hey... when did I become Jimmy Brooks, the asshole aka heartbreaker? Its like I don't know how to be loyal anymore. Craig must have rubbed off on me

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2nd September 2005

9:56am: I haven't seen or talked to Liz in weeks now. I think she's avoiding me or something... Which is really really weird.

Really, the only person I've hung out with lately is Emma. I've seen Ash a bit too. Ash is temporarily staying with me, because of her split with Craig. I made a promise to her when I first found out that I will do whatever she needs me to in order to help her out. I will stand by that for the rest of our lives. Thats my little neice or nephew she's having! I want to hang out with people more. So give me a call, I don't care if we've NEVER hung out before, call me and we will. :)

I made out with Emma the other day. I told her I needed homework help so she came over. I almost immediately started kissing her. It was great. It took her by surprise but this time we didn't stop and she didn't leave like the first time we ended up kissing at my house. We were making out on the couch when Ash walked in on us. Oops. But it was pretty funny.

I feel like an ass again though. Because of Liz. I've become a guy who cheats apparently. First I cheated on Haze with Liz. Now cheating on Liz with Em. But in all fairness, both times it was because Haze or Liz were never around. I know it doesn't make what I did right. But... I dunno. Its like right now, I don't even know if Liz still likes me at all. She could have at least called me or sent me an email or something to let me know she was okay and all that. I mean she doesn't even answer my calls anymore :-/

And I really am falling for Emma. I have been since the beginning of the summer. Marco made me realize this the otherday when he told me "I see the way you look at her, Jimmy." and well... its true. She's slowly but surely managed to steal my heart when I had it guarded. I had it gaurded from Haze and Liz even. But the part of me they couldn't unlock, somehow, Emma did. Its kind of scary.

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28th August 2005

8:27am: so you know how I was saying I wanted to have a party. I have a better idea. Who's up for skipping school for a day? Everyone is invited. My dad's company can hook me up with as many tickets as needed to the end of summer music fest that goes from noon to midnight with various concerts and they have all kinds of things to do, like carnival games and rides, etc... But its thursday. and like I said EVERYONE is invited! unless you are a certain asshole that would make the world a better place by leaving it
Let me know! I'll get a list of people playing later. Oh yeah, anyone want to crash at my hosue wednesday or thursday night, or both, lol are welcome, just make sure to bring a pillow and a swimming suit. Unless your Emma Nelson, because knowing me I'll end up throwing her in fully clothed :-P


((I'll host a chat thursday night for this but we can rp that its during the day and we're skipping. UNLESS paige's court date will be that day, then we can do this next thursday, lol.))

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24th August 2005

6:31pm: Hey anyone know where my girlfriend dissappeared to?

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22nd August 2005

3:03pm: Lets spice things up around here:

Post anonymously 5 questions. I don't care what they are or how personal they are. Nothing is out of limits!

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19th August 2005

6:14pm: Gosh I hate how now that school started everyone is always so damn busy, myself included.

PARTY MY HOUUUUUSE SOON!

Yeah I should probably do homework, but I don't want to. Haze won't do it for me lol. Who will? I know someone wants to ;)

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11th August 2005

9:24am: Yesterday Hazel and Ash came over for pizza and a movie. Hazel left after the movie so Ash and I went swimming. She thinks Craig could kick my ass, but I thinks she's crazy. Marco was supposed to come over but then he couldn't. :(

Then later on I went up to the hospital to visit Liz. She was talking about cloudwalking. LMAO.

After that Emma came over and we went swimming. Hahah I threw her in the pool when she was still fully dressed. I'm evil like that. But I let her dry her clothes in our dryer and let her wear some of my clothes while they were drying. She really did look like a cute little gangsta then.

Hazel is probably coming over again to hang out today sometime. And thats about whats going on in the world of Jimmy Brooks.

OH YEAH. Since I'm not in a wheelchair anymore I got a new screen name. HotLikeWoahIKnow

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9th August 2005

12:29pm: Hazel came over again last night. We watched Scream. I know she's seen it at least 100 times but it still scared her. It was cute. I'm glad we're hanging out more again. isn't it funny how our break up seemed to make us closer again? I held her to keep her from being scared I hope Liz doesn't get mad. I mean, Hazel and I didn't do anything at all. But I'm worried Liz might pull the "but you were holding your ex" card. :-/ At the end I grabbed her sides during a scary part and said Boo. haha she jumped, it was so funny.

Liz is back in the hospital having surgery for those who didn't know. I'm gonna stop by for a visit. Isn't it funny that she and I met in the hospital. Of all places. LOL

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6th August 2005

10:07pm: Whats up playas?! Jbizzle's in the hizzouse. LOL. Sorry, I'm a bit wound up and hyper right now. Not sure why.

Yesterday I went to the dot with Hazel. We also went swimming back at my house afterwards. It was a lot of fun. We talked about a lot of things. Like the possibility of going to the same college together. We decided to go on college tours together when we go, anyone else interested in joining us? I'm so glad I got to see her, its been too, too long. yes, I do miss her. seeing her brought that out of me. but its not time to get back together. I mean, I got Liz now, and she makes me happy, so I'm going to try not to mess it up.

Then last night I went over to Liz's. I was mean, I told her I wasn't coming over because my dad wanted to bond with me. But really I just wanted to surprise her so I showed up at her door 15 minutes later. You should have seen the look on her face. It was too cute. We at pizza and spent the entire night talking and cuddling. Yes... talking... It was nice. I like how I can talk to her about anything, and how we can take something so painful to us and turn it around, make it a lighter burden by joking about it. I can't do that with most people, not like I can with her. Thats what I need right now. Its helping me heal from the emotional pain of the shooting more than anything else is right now.

OKAY LISTEN UP. IF YOUR NAME IS PAIGE, CRAIG, ASH, EMMA, OR MARCO YOU'RE ASSES BETTER CALL ME, EMAIL ME, IM ME, OR SOMETHING AND WE'RE HANGING OUT. ITS BEEN TOOOOOO LONG! KTHNXBYE.

I'm gonna bizounce now. Peace.

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1st August 2005

3:45pm: So yesterday I came home from LA. I had a great time there, but I had to get home for Doctors appointments and crap like that. It was fun, for a few days my mind was off of everything. Although I won't lie, we used my chair at Disneyland primarily as an excuse to cut in front of everyone! HAHA no waiting in line for us. I met Liz's dad, which was... uncomfortable at first, but its cool now. It was really comforting to be able to fall asleep next to someone and wake up with them still there. I don't know, but it just seems like ever since I got shot my whole world has been topsy-turvey so to speak. I feel so... helpless and alone all the time, even when I know I shouldn't. The nightmares are awful. But for those few nights, falling asleep listening to someone breathing next to me, it wasn't so bad. I wasn't so scared. I wasn't so alone. Docs say I should start being more open about this, and then the fears will fade with time or some other after-school-special pep talk I get. Whatever.

Anyways, got home from LA yesterday, and I talked to Hazel a little bit. We're actually going to the movies tomorrow afternoon. Which should be cool. I can't even think of the last time I saw that girl :-P Its, cool though, I'm glad I'll be able to hang out with her tomorrow.

After talking to Haze, I went over to Emma's and surprised her. She loved the Mickey I made all gangsta like by adding a pimp chain that I gave to her. What can I say, a pimped out gangsta Mickey for my little gangsta ho ;) She was making strawberry smoothies, yet somehow, we ended up wearing most of them? LOL. It was fun. But I didn't stay long. After all I had to go home and shower off the sticky smoothie :-P

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27th July 2005

11:42pm: I told Hazel about Liz and I tonight. It was really hard to do. I never wanted to hurt her.

It's sad the way things happened between us. I mean we grew apart because it hurt her to see me so... broken. But it hurt me she wasn't there. And then I fucked it up even more by cheating on her with Liz.

I just didn't see how we could work things out with as much damage as we were doing. So we talked about it. We're not together right now, but I told her, and completely mean it, that I didn't want us to be over forever, for good. Because, a part of me is very much attatched to her, and I would love for the day to come when we could be the way we used to be. But I think the only way to ever hope to get there is to start over again, as friends.

It tore me up to tell her that. It tears me up thinking I made her cry. But if we kept on like we were we'd only be more hurt in the end, and possible destroying all hopes for a 2nd chance or even a friendship.

Am I horrible for flying out to California tomorrow... because Liz wanted me too? I'm going because Liz makes me forget all the pain and sadness around. With her, the shooting seems less real, like it was just a nightmare thats finally fading away. I can talk to her about it, but more than that, since there are many people out there I do talk to about it, I can JOKE with her about it. Make it not so serious. So when she asked me to come spend a couple days out there with her, I couldn't say no. Especially knowing that it hasn't been the easiest trip, what with having to visit her parents graves and stuff like that.

That being said, I'm not going to be around the next few days, so I'll see you all when I'm back in the big T-O!

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25th July 2005

5:45pm: First off, let me tell you some great news, for those of you who haven't seen me the last two days like Ash and Emma have. The day after the dance when I went in for routine doctor check up and physical therapy that I have EVERY day, I told them about how I had gotten up a couple times and danced. They were impressed, even if it was just for slow dances, and they got all gung-ho on speeding my recovery. They keep calling me the "miracle kid". So here's the exciting part. I'm on crutches now! Probably will be for about a month as I'm gaining strength back and healing still. But my wheelchair, well its only for when I'm really exhausted and need it. Exciting, right?! I thought so :-D Ash was the first to see me on them, she was pretty excited too.

Speaking of Ash, I'm glad she finally told Craig. For one, it makes it easier on her. For two, and the real reason, I can now call Craig Daddio.

Emma came over last night, which was fun. I was glad she wanted to come over. We had to draw what we were going to do out of a hat, because we were indecisive. Ended up choosing movie, much to Emma's dissapointment because she wanted strip poker :-P, so we watched Constatine. My little tough gangsta chick was scurred, so I had to be the thug I am and hold her to protect her from the big scary movie. And don't listen to her, Jimmy Brooks was not SCARED, he just got startled, LOL. It was fun. We were talking after the movie, I didn't realize how late it was until I got really tired. Then she kissed me?! I really wasn't expecting that. Took me by surprise and at first just on impulse I kissed her back... but then i told her we shouldn't becuase I had someone and so did she. I won't lie, I had feelings for her before I met and fell for Liz... And yet, I still haven't been able to break up with Hazel. I never meant to be a player. I'm turning into a grade A asshole as it goes. What's wrong with me?! So she got up and went home. Then I talked to Liz online for a few minutes. I haven't seen her since the night of the dance. I miss her. She wants me to go to LA with her, and I think she was leaving today?

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22nd July 2005

7:27pm: So the dance was pretty... interesting? It was something alright. Hazel stood me up... although, to be quite honest, I expected her too. we're definately not the same old Hazel & Jimmy anymore...

Ash did me the honor and danced with me, my very first dance, standing up after the shooting. Exciting right? Thats what I thought. I mean it was hard, my legs still being weak and sore. But exhillerating none the less. And who better to share it with then my good friend, Ash? :) Speaking of whom, I'm still waiting on a phone call so I can take her out to dinner and a movie tonight. She's got so much on her mind right now, I want to help her relax and unwind.

Then Liz and I danced followed by making out in the corner in which JT saw us AGAIN. That is the second time he's caught us. I couldn't stop kissing her though. It just felt so good, and the way that girl makes me feel, she drives me crazy in the good way. I can't get enough I had a lot of fun with her. She got distracted by a phone call, so I went over and talked to Ash. I was soo pissed she was drinking when she's gonna have a baby. That's my potential future "neice/nephew" in her, so she better take care of her and it. She hasn't decided what she's goign to do but if she keeps it, I'll be a proud "Uncle Jimmy." Luckily she started throwing up all over the place, I mean as gross as it is, she got the vast majority of the alcohol out of her system quickly. Ash, I meant every word I said last night, no matter what I'll be there and you can count on me.

After the dance Liz and I went to the park to talk about our feelings for each other and what we were going to do about it. I promised her I'd break up with Hazel today, but I haven't gotten a hold of her all day. The sooner the better though, I know I'm going to hurt Hazel, but the sooner I tell her the less it will hurt. I cannot be in a relationship with Liz, or at least we can't tell anyone about us, until I break up with Haze. God I feel like an ass, but I cannot help how smitten I am about Liz. That's right, smitten

The best part of the night was falling asleep next to her, with her in my arms, at her house. I felt so... peaceful. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Not since I got shot

There was a whole bunch of other drama at the dance, none that I paid much attention to. I was too focused on Liz happy to really notice anything.

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20th July 2005

4:54pm: What a day yesterday. What a day. Let me see if I can even remember everything that happened...

I talked to Hazel a bit online in the morning. I also asked her if she thought we were growing apart, she told me she still loved me and all that and then got worried my feelings had changed. I told her they didn't but it just seems like... we're drifting a part. When I talked to Ash about it she seemed to agree with me. But it might just be all the stress going on with me that I've pulled away from her? But we aren't all lovey-dovey like we used to be and we never see each other or rarely talk anymore, and I can't come up with a logical reason why. She was supposed to come visit again, but she must have got caught up with something because she didn't come. :(

While I was waiting for Hazel to show up, Liz IMed me saying she was getting bored and wanted to go do something. Our nurses let us go to the phsysical therapy pool. Mine were excited that I was all willing to try stuff already, being that most people aren't so... I don't know the word I'm looking for... determined I guess. It was fun but I don't think the nurses liked all the splashing around we were doing, they didn't think it was taking it easy enough. actually it probably wasn't so much the splashing around as it was the fact that she somehow ended up on my lap and I started tickling her and she was laughing and yelling at me to stop. It was cute to see her squirm. The nurses came over when we almost kissed, which kind of interrupted the mood. But after they left, for whatever reason, I kissed her. I'm such an ass. JT walked up as that had happened, since Liz had invited him to visit before we even went down to the pool. Thats not a good sign. Ugh. JT showed up to visit Liz, since she had asked him too. I had more check ups and everything so I ended up back in my room while they hung out.

The doctors had me STAND yesterday. With help and everything, but standing none the less. It was an awesome feeling. Paige came by to visit and we talked, it was fun. She was so excited when I told her I got to stand. In fact, she was the first person who knew. Moments after she left Emma showed up with video games. She's pretty good, but not quite good enough to beat the master ;) Anytime my little gangsta wants a rematch all she has to do is call, because it was fun kicking her ass at Dead or Alive - although... she almost had me. Girl has some skills. She tells me I should start doing that thing called reading, so I might. We were watching Billy Madison when the nurses made her leave so I could have yet another check up.

I talked to ash for a few minutes online until Emma showed up again with Craig this time. She rapped for us. You all need to recognize she is the queen and needs to be worshipped, yo! LMAO. It was a horrible white girl attempt at rapping but it made my day. Craig, Emma, and I were having a blast just blazing on each other. Then Ash stopped in for a surprise visit. Which made things a bit awkward. Emma left. Then Ash shortly after left. Then I tried talking with Craig for a bit, but doctors made him go so I could do more Phsyical Therapy.

Today I haven't seen or talked to anyone really. Just been working on getting my strength back. My legs are so week from not being able to use them for so long. But it feels so great to stand, or feels good just to be able to, being that it actually hurts like hell when I do.

The dance is tomorrow night? Hazel and I will be going... I BEGGGGGED my doctors to let me out of here for the night. I had to sign an oath in blood that I will take it easy, okay maybe not, but I felt like I did.

Lets see if today is as eventful as yesterday. I'm going to go down to Liz's room and see how she's doing today. Maybe she and I can go down to Craig's room and check on him. I really don't know why he decided he wanted to be cool like us and end up in the hospital, but I hope he's okay.

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19th July 2005

2:36am: I'm exhausted. So this update will be short.Just cliff notes version of my day:

I had my surgery today. It went good :)

Miss Nelson herself visited me before hand, which was a nice surprise. And bought me some bling bling. She managed to make me much more relaxed which was good being that I had surgery a couple hours after she left.

Rick tried to talk to me. i hate him

After my surgery Liz and Paige came over to my room, then Ash and Craig joined us.

It was fun at first. Some drama happened. Liz had to leave for a bit but came back and she was fine. Since she wasn't feeling to good, I made some room for her, so we both layed down and watched The Labryinth. Ash and Craig were busy talking.

I was kind of upset I didn't get to see Hazel today. I thought for sure she'd come to see how my surgery went. Oh well. I'll see her soon enough.

Liz and Ash had left so Craig and I got to talk. Yes guys do talk. Its not only about sex, sports, sleep :-P That was good, I needed to vent a bit.

Now its time for rest. Night everyone :)

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18th July 2005

2:03am: What's been happening in the world of Jimmy Brooks lately? A lot. Unfortunately, most of this has been doctors visits and physical therapy and not nearly enough time for my friends, and definately not enough time for Hazel... I talked to her for a few minutes today, which only made me miss her more. I had a real nice romantic evening planned out for tomorrow night, to surprise her. now unfortunately it has to be postponed

Craig showed up at my doorstep randomly. It was more of a run away from Ash's and need somewhere to go so he didnt' get caught than it was a surprise visit. But its cool. We ened up going to the Dot with Ash and Paige. Paige told me about the sick bastard, dean, hitting her after i saw the bruises. He's just lucky I'm not in the position to do anything about it It was fun to get to see my friends again. I needed to get out a bit.

While we were at the Dot, however, I got a page from the hospital. I had to go into mee this specialist. While I was anxiously waiting talking to him I was just going up and down this hallway when Liz approached me. We had never really officially met or hung out before today, but she was cool. She made the wait a little less difficult to say the least. I can see this as a start of a great friendship, I mean, how could we not be good friends since we both were pimpin the chairs like gangstas. See, Emma, my gangsta methods are reachin out to others now. It will be a Toronto Epidemic.

So how did the appointment go? Well... I guess you could say good. Although, it landed me a spot in the hospital for the next few days. I have surgery tomorrow afternoon sometime. Not sure when. They have to do it tomorrow because the specialist -Dr. Richards - won't be in town for too long.

I haven't had the time to process everything. But here is a quick cliff notes version: The bullet had damaged the bone of one of my lower verebrae. The vertebrae then was able to slip forward and is putting pressure on my nerve. The paralysis is actually my central nerve being severely pinched. The surgery would fix the bone, or replace it with something, and then fuse it to the one above it. Highly dangerous. My only option. But I should be able to walk once I recover from the surgery and get used to using my legs again.

What's a few more weeks or even a couple of months when I thought it was going to be the rest of my life?

So I'm excited, but at the same time nervous about being in the hospital.

Hazel, try not to worry about me too much. I'll be better before you know it. I promise the night I come home from the hospital will be devoted entirely to spending time with you. Love you!

Oh and if anyone wants to visit, i'm in room 408.

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15th July 2005

11:39am: I go in this afternoon for more tests and x-rays to see what kind of improvement has happened. Wish me luck.

So word on the block is Emma Nelson is gangsta. haha, or at least thats what the word will be at the end of the summer once I've taught her everything I know. At the same time I'm writing Gangsta Talk Defined by Jimmy Brooks and How To Be Gangsta: Teacher's edition. Look for my name on the international best seller list.

It's worth it to have Emma say things like "fo shizzle, my nizzle" LMAO.

So there's a radio station holding a Black & White affair, huh? I'm not sure I want to go. I don't want to be the kid that everyone stairs at because he's in a wheelchair... It's one thing at Degrassi, where people know me, and knew me before this. It's harder when people only see the chair and that is their first and only impression of me.

On the other hand, seeing Hazel all dressed up and shaking her ass will make it worth it. ;-) Well... that is if she wants to go... I guess I shouldn't assume that. As long as she does, y'all can expect an apperence by the one and only Jimmy Brooks. Word.

Time for me to bizounce and head up to the hospital... Holla! :)

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